The story of Maryanne and Tommy Pilling is a touching tale of love, resilience, and the enduring bond between two individuals with Down syndrome who defied societal expectations to get married. Here are the key points from their story:
Maryanne and Tommy’s Relationship: Maryanne and Tommy, both of whom had Down syndrome, met and began dating for over a year before Tommy decided to propose to Maryanne. They dated like any other couple and were deeply in love.
Tommy’s Proposal: Tommy initially proposed to Maryanne with a toy ring from a vending machine. Maryanne’s family was supportive of their relationship but wanted to get them a proper engagement ring, so Tommy and Maryanne’s mother visited a jewelry shop.
Their Wedding: In July 1995, Maryanne and Tommy got married in a beautiful ceremony at St. Mary’s Church in Shoeburyness, Essex. It was a dream come true for Maryanne, who had always envisioned having a big white wedding.
Facing Societal Judgments: Despite their love and commitment, the couple faced judgment and stares from some people who assumed that individuals with Down syndrome and learning difficulties couldn’t get married. Maryanne’s family defended their right to love and marry.
A Loving Marriage: Maryanne expressed her deep love for Tommy, calling him her best friend. The couple lived independently in their own home, with support from their family members next door.
Tommy’s Dementia and Separation: In 2019, Tommy was diagnosed with dementia, which led to moments of confusion and eventually caused him to forget who Maryanne was. They had to separate due to his condition.
Tommy’s Passing: Tragically, Tommy passed away in 2020, and his death was attributed to COVID-19. Maryanne was heartbroken by the loss of her beloved husband.
Coping with Grief: Maryanne struggled with grief following Tommy’s passing. She tried her best to move forward but found it challenging to cope with the loss of her husband.
An Update: In an interview in April 2021, Maryanne was still deeply affected by Tommy’s absence. She struggled to understand the pandemic and why her husband had passed away but continued to hold onto her love for him.
Maryanne and Tommy’s love story reminds us of the power of love and the strength of their bond, even in the face of adversity. It also highlights the challenges faced by individuals with Down syndrome and their families, as well as the importance of empathy, understanding, and support in such situations.